March 12, 2007

Two years have passed,

But in my heart it feels like yesterday.


Ryan was a Gift, a Wonderful Gift


A son is a gift from God above,

That comes with many moments of love.

A son you think you'll hold for a lifetime,

May one day soar to the Heavens above.


Now, I think back at the moments,

Precious moments I shared with you.

I think of the times that I heard you laugh ...

There's nothing to compare it to.


I think of the times you sat with me,

Sharing the dreams you treasure.

And sharing the failures that you feared most ...

Even those were moments of pleasure.


Every moment I shared with you was such a joy!

So much more than you could ever know.

The little boy grins and the young man smiles,

Are beautiful memories of watching you grow!


Tonight, I sit and hold onto the photo albums,

Holding onto every single minute.

I look back and long for more time in life,

For more life while you were in it.


I see others around me and know that they

understand exactly how I feel.

For every moment I live without you

is a moment too painfully real.


So, I sit tonight longing to hold you;

I just can't hold back my tears.

There were many moments with you ...

Just not enough years.






I miss my son I cannot see
And long for him to be with me.
There is no way to touch, it seems,
Save only in my dreams.
But, within my heart, there is a place
Where I can see Ryanís smiling face.






Hello old friend, Oh yes you know
I lost my son two years ago.
No, no please donít look away
And change the subject, itís ok.

You see at first I couldnít feel,
It took so long, but now itís real.
I hurt so much inside you see
I need to talk, come sit with me.

You see, I was numb for so very long,
And people said, My, She is so strong.
They did not know I couldnít feel,
My broken heart made all unreal.

But then one day, as I awoke
I clutched my chest, began to choke,
Such a scream, such a wail, broke from me..
My son! My son! The horror of reality.

But everyone has moved on, everyone except for me.
Now, when I need friends most of all,
Between us there now stands a wall.
My pain is more than they can bear.

When I mention my son I see their blank stare.
But I thought you were over it,
Their eyes seem to say,
No, no, I canít listen to this, not today.

So I smile and pretend, and say,

Oh, Iím ok.
But inside I am crying, as

I turn away.

And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile,
As I have from the start,
You never knowing all the while,
All Iíve just said to you in my heart.










I didnít get a chance to say goodbye,

to say how much I love you.

I wish I had called and maybe those few minutes would have changed what happened.

Sadness overwhelms me that you were all alone with no one to hold your hand.

To hear your last breath.

Was there fear, did you feel pain.

Did you know what was going on around you?

I wish so badly I had called

Even if just to hear your voice for the last time.

All I can do now is pray that God gently lifted you up, and said ďCome with me my soní.